Not so Joyful

  So I know I said that my goal this year was to post about things that bring me joy, well that will not be the case with this post. I'm just having one of "those" days and I process things so much better when I write them out or talk about them, I'm hoping that since it's been so long since I've posted anything that people will actually forget that I have this blog. Anyway, lately I've really been struggling with being a stay at home mom. I guess I never expected to be a SAHM or at least not full time. I've always had a job, whether it's been full or part time and I actually felt like I was contributing to something and now....well I feel like I do nothing but laundry, clean, feed the kids, take Peyton to and from school, etc. I know there are women out there that would do anything to be a SAHM but I'm just really struggling with that fact that's all I do and it's what I am. I feel totally worthless because I'm NOT bringing in any funds of any kind and honestly, things are tight financially right now so it would be great if I could contribute somehow. I just hate feeling this way and I know that it would be hard for me to have a job right now because Lamar travels and we never really know what his schedule is until the week before so me having a job just doesn't seem to be in the cards right now and I just need to be ok with it. I just hate the feeling of being useless and not contributing to anything. Oh well, I know that I'm here and doing the things I'm doing for a reason but sometimes it's just hard to see the bigger picture.