Dinner Guests

 Tonight we had Lee and Shalome over for dinner and we had such a good time. It was nice to just sit down and get to know them a bit better, even though Abe(he's 9months old) was a little fussy but it was just nice to hang out with them. They have 3 girls and 1 boy and our kids seemed to get along pretty good so hopefully it stays that way. I've figured out too that I really enjoy cooking and having people over for dinner, maybe that's my gift.....ok maybe not. Shalome and I were talking about possibly doing a Beth Moore study together and getting some other ladies involved with it too so I'm really hoping that it will work for us to do this because I can't tell you how much I miss my Beth Moore study. I just need to get involved in bible study again, I feel like I've been away from it for so long and I really need it. I mean I still do devotions and stuff on my own but I just like to have the discussions and get other peoples point of views. Anyway, that's all for now, later taters.

  So today as I was painting Peyton's room I was listening my ipod and I had all these older songs on there and they just took me back to those moments of who I was with and where I was and of course that got me thinking. What if we would have ended up with that certain guy/girl that we were with when that song brought back those memories, I hope that makes sense. I can't help but wonder how different my life would be if I would have ended up with the person that I thought I was going to, now don't get me wrong I am so happy with Lamar but if you know me at all this is just how my mind works. Anyway, I don't think I would be going on a church plant and I'd probably still be in Arthur and maybe with 15 kids.....haha ok maybe not. It's crazy to me how one decision can change your life forever, thank goodness I made the right decision. But really, your life could be completely different with one little decision, one decision..........think about that. I mean even if you turn right instead of left, you could have avoided an accident or you were 5 min late you could have avoided an accident. It is comforting to know that God is helping us with these decisions and of course, knows what's best for us. Obviously He knew what was best for me and I'm so glad that I decided to follow Him, even though at the time I didn't think He knew what He was doing ;) I'm sure I'm not the only one that's felt that way either. Like I said before I'm so happy that I married Lamar and I have no regrets and I'm pretty sure that it was one of the best decisions that I ever made.

  Day 2 of painting is finally done and I only have 2 more days left. I don't mind painting at all but I forget how exhausting it is, I could probably go to bed right now and sleep all night. I'm painting Peyton's room tomorrow and the good thing is that it's not as big, bad for Peyton but yay for me when I'm painting ;) Anyway, I've got nothing else to say I'm to tired to think, yes I'm lame I know. Have a fabulous night all and we'll chat tomorrow :)

Well today is much better then it was yesterday and it might have been because I actually had something to do, I painted the living room so that kept me busy all day.I'm hoping that by painting most of the house and putting my own touch on things that it will make me feel more like I'm home. I can't wait to see it when all the painting is finished and I'll have most of that done by next week and then I'll just need a few decor items and I'll be good to go.  I definitely need something to do during the week, even if it's just for a couple of days, plus the sun just needs to shine for more then 1 hour at a time that would just make me feel better too ;) I think sitting around at home gives me time to think way to much and I just let my mind go to places that I don't want it to go. I really need to get involved in a women's bible study so I will definitely be on the look out for one, either that or I'll just start one myself and hopefully I'll have lots of ladies that would be interested in joining me.
  I do have some other news to share and I'm so excited about it, I rain for 60min. straight today........aaaaagggghhhh I'm so so excited about it. I said that I wanted to be able to do that by the end of the week and I still have 2 days left. I know 60 min probably doesn't sound like much but I'm just proud of myself that I did it and I plan on keeping it up too :)

Loneliness

  Well today is just one of those days and maybe it's because it's so dark and dreary out and I am in need of some serious sun. I'm just feeling really lonely today so sorry for being a debbie downer but that's just where I'm at. I just hate this feeling, I don't think that I've actually ever experienced true loneliness until now. I've always been surrounded by my family and friends and now I'm not. Yeah I've made some new friends but we're not that close and yes, I have Lamar and the kids but still it's not the same as before. As I'm writing this it just makes me want to pack up everything and move back, of course I know I can't do that. I don't really miss living in Arthur at all but I just miss all my friends, I honestly didn't think it would be this hard for me. I guess I didn't realize how much I relied on everyone until now, now I get to rely on myself/God/Lamar, not that I didn't before I just have to rely on them a lot more now. I know that things will get better but right now, this is where I'm at and it just hurts. I just miss everyone so much and I miss the way things used to be and yes, I need to get over it and move on because this is where my life is now, it's here in Morton/Peoria and not in Arthur. I really am trying to be strong in this situation but sometimes I have to just have my moments and I know that's ok too, I just can't stay in those moments for too long.

    Well nothing to exciting has happened today, I had my first Stella & Dot party this morning and let's just say it didn't turn out well at all. No one bought anything or booked a party from me.....FAIL! I was a bit disappointed at first but then I got over it, there's nothing I can do so I just have to keep trying. I'm probably going to have a few short months with nothing going on but hopefully stuff will start happening with it soon. Anyway, after the party I went grocery shopping and I have to say that I really hate going to 3 different stores just to save money, yes I'm saving quite a bit of money but it's just a pain to have to do that. Oh well, at least all the stores are within 5 min. of each other instead of across town. Now I'm home and I plan on staying here tonight, I'm still trying to recover from the weekend so I'm pretty tired.

Another Good Weekend.

  We just got home from being in Arthur all weekend and yes it was a great weekend but seriously, it goes way to fast. I feel like when we go back we're running in about 10 different directions and we can't really relax, either that or the weekends just need to be longer so we won't feel so rushed. I was talking to Heidi on Saturday and I told her that if this is how our weekends are going to be(running around like crazy) then I'm just going to tell everyone that if they want to come and see us, then they have to come where we're staying, yeah I know that wouldn't work so well either.
  So last night I got a phone call from Lisa telling me that they are taking my mom to the ER because she's having symptons of a heart attack, of course I left as quick as I could. Which by the way, when I left Chad and Carolyn's at 11:30pm I set the alarm off.....awesome. I felt so bad because everyone was sleeping but of course they understood. Anyway, they haven't really found anything, she has to do a stress test tomorrow and hopefully they'll figure out what's going on. We did go to the hospital this afternoon before we came home and she did say that she's feeling a lot better so that's good.
  I do have to share one other thing with you, I was able to run for 45min. straight tonight, yes I know that might not seem like much but I was pretty happy with myself. I'm hoping by the end of the week that I'll be running for 60min.

Weekend Fun.

Well we are back in Arthur for the weekend and so far, we've had a great time. Last night Chad and Carolyn had a fiesta night and let's just say there were lots and lots of laughs. It's been awhile since I've laughed that much. Today we went for breakfast with my family and then we met the couple that is renting our house from us and we got the lease signed and everything. I'm so glad that we have someone in the house now, It's such a relief. I also got to spend some time with Heidi, Heather, and Drew and it just wasn't enough time :( At least I got to see them for a little bit though. Now we are off to Lamar's parents for dinner. I love coming home on the weekends but it seems like it goes way to quick and I never get to spend enough time with all my peeps. I guess we'll just just have to come home more ;)

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Good Friday

  Happy Good Friday everyone. And yes, this has been a "good" friday, we finally found someone to rent out house. I can't tell you how relieved I am. After months and months of waiting and LOTS of prayer, God came through for us. I am beyond thrilled that we will have someone in the house, it's a huge relief and I finally feel like I can breathe again :) Oh and we're going back to Arthur for the weekend so yeah, it's going to be a great weekend. I hope you all have a great weekend and we'll chat tomorrow ;)

Cautiously Optimistic

     Is it wrong to be cautiously optimistic? I hope not because well, then I guess I'm wrong. I'm trying to be a bit more optimistic about things going on right now but it's so hard because I always end up disappointed and I hate that feeling so I guess I'm trying to avoid being disappointed. Yeah I know, I'm so lame either that or I'm just being careful ;)
   On another note, I've started running again, yay me. I always forget how much of a stress reliever it is and I realized too that it's much easier if you run for a certain amount of time rather then running so many miles. My goal is to run for 60min but so far I'm up to 30min. I know it's not much but I'm getting there.

  So I made yet another realization today, I realized that before we moved how involved I was with "God" activites. I had a ladies bible study(which I miss so very much), small group, Revolution, and church and now I feel like I've got nothing. I know that we'll be starting small group here in a couple of weeks but it's so hard to go from so many activites like that to virtually nothing, no wonder why I feel so distant from God. I mean I still do my devotions everyday and pray constantly but I need more then devotions and prayer, I need to have a bible study where we can talk and discuss the Bible and get different opinions on things. I mean, the last couple of days I feel like God isn't even there, I've cried out to Him so many times and I feel like I get nothing and it's so frustrating. I know He hears me but I still feel like He's not there, and yes I know that things will get better and I really hope that it's sooner then later. There's just so much stress right now and well, as you all know stress and I don't get along very well. Oh well, here's to a better day tomorrow.

New Friends......from Champaign

 Hmmm I got nothin' seriously how can I not have anything to say. I feel like all I say is blah blah blah, is that what I sound like to you guys????? I hope not, but if I do please don't tell me ;) We had a dinner party tonight but it wasn't nearly as awkward as the dinner party on The Office, ok so we didn't have a dinner party we just had some peeps over for dinner. Mark, Carrie, and Adam came over for dinner tonight and we had a good time, although watching Mark and Adam, and sometimes Peyton play Lego Starwars is really not that exciting. I did get to know Carrie better and she's hilarious, she's the cat's meow. Ok I have no idea what that means but it sounds like something Adam would say so I thought I would throw that in there. Anyway, that's all for now so nighty night.

Let's just not talk about it.

  Sometimes I wish I wouldn't overhear some things, like tonight Lamar got a phone call  and I bet you can't guess what it was about ;) That's right, the thing I feel like I've talked to death, the house. I told him last week that he's not allowed to tell me if he gets a phone call or anything like that unless he's telling me that it's sold, I know I sound really immature but I guess I'm just afraid of being disappointed again so the less I know that better, right? But then again, now that I overheard the conversation now I'm trying so hard to not get my hopes up but it's so hard not too. I'm definitely not trying to think about so the only thing I'm doing is praying. I pray that this person is the one that's perfect for our house. Well hopefully I will have some better news tomorrow night and I won't be blogging angry ;)

Goodbye's Suck!!!

  The weekend has come to an end and everyone just left, seriously I hate saying goodbye. I feel like a big crybaby but it's so hard knowing that they're going back home and I'm stuck here by myself. I'm really trying to get used to this but right now it's just really hard. I know it will get easier and I just have to be patient but I want to be comfortable here now. Anyway, I've got nothing else so I'm going to have a good cry, then put my big girl pants on and deal with it.

Shopping Peoria Style

  Well this weekend Troy, Eric, Amy, & Angie came to visit us so YAY!!!!! Today us girls decided to go shopping and we had such a good time. We went to Northwoods Mall so Amy could return some stuff and Angie and Amy wanted to spoil Lauren and they took her to Build-A-Bear, I think she was a bit overwhelmed and she wasn't exactly sure what was going on. After we left the store she decided that she liked her bear, I can't wait to take Peyton there sometime he will love it. After that we went to a little cafe for lunch, some of my parents friends gave us a gift certificate for the cafe so we decided to try it out, and it was delicious. We then went to another mall and I can't wait to go back, especially when it's warmer, it's an outdoor mall but not an outlet mall....make sense, I hope so. Anyway, we went to Charming Charlie's and I am in LOVE with that store. It's a jewelry/accesory/shoe store and it's amazing, everything is color coordinated, I think we were in there for about an hour. We also had to make a stop at Old Navy to buy sweatshirts because it was so stinking cold and we couldn't take it anymore. Then we decided to stop by Goodwill on our way home because I heard that it was a really nice one.....hmmmm yeah it really wasn't. First we drove around it 3 different times because we couldn't figure out where the driveway was and we accidently drove the Grandview Drive, at least we got to do that. So finally we stopped and asked someone how to get into the store, yeah we should have not even bothered because it was a bit of a waste of our time but hey, we got a good laugh of driving around the dang store 3 times. And tonight we're going to eat at 5 Guys, which I'm super excited about because we've never been there. So I had a great day filled with food, diet coke, shopping and lots of laughs.

  I have to say that I'm super excited for this weekend because we have some of our best friends coming for the weekend and I'm just so excited. We don't really plan on doing much but just hanging out and having a good time, I think the girls are going to do a little shopping tomorrow but that's about it. Only a few more hours and they'll be here, yes I'm like a little kid I know.
  So I think we've decided that we're going to try and sell the house on our own and see if we can get any buyers. It's just so weird because after we made this decision one of my friends sent me a text about her sister possibly wanting to rent the house(she talked to me about it a couple of months ago) anyway, her sister loves the house and she hasn't even seen the inside of it. I feel somewhat confused because I felt like we're supposed to try and sell it on our own instead of trying to find renters right away and then we get this call about someone maybe wanting to rent it. AAAAGGGGHHH I'm so confused!!!!! I just wish God would email/text/call and just tell us what we're supposed to do and how it's all going  to work out. I know the only thing I can do at this point is give it all over to God and just put all my faith and trust in Him so that's exactly what I'm going to do. I know that it's all going to work out, gosh I wonder how many times I've said that ;) I'm going to try really hard to not talk about the house anymore because honestly I'm pretty tired of talking about so I can't imagine how you all feel :) I will ask you again for some extra prayers in the next couple of weeks that hopefully we'll have more of a definite idea of what's going on with the house because right now I feel like we're in limbo. Thanks all!

Couponing

  So I've recently started couponing and I have to say that I actually enjoy it, well sometimes. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed that I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing but then I go to CVS and save some major money and that makes it all better. I went to CVS today and my bill was around $40 and I only spent $7, well technically I spent $17 but I got bucks back for $10 to use on my next purchase. Anyway I was pretty proud of myself, I was just telling Lamar that I almost can't buy anything now unless it's on sale or if I have a coupon. I did go to Wal-Mart the other day for some other groceries and it was the first time I ad/price matched and I almost had an adreneline high, yes I'm lame I know but hey, it's the most exciting thing I have going on right now. I was watching extreme couponing last night and I don't think I could ever do what they do, those people are crazy about couponing. One guys grocery bill was over $600 and he spent less then $50, that's crazy to me but these people also stock pile. They have mini grocery stores in there basement, how cool would it be to just go in your basement and get whatever you needed but like I said I'm not that crazy, well not yet anyway. I have quite a few friends that coupon and I love seeing/hearing all the things they got and how much they paid for it, Christy M and Amber K are rockstars at couponing. Anyway, enough of my rambling on and on about coupons, seriously I need to get out of the house and meet some people then maybe I'd have more to talk about ;)

Well this week has been busy for me, which is good. I was just running around like crazy on Monday and Tuesday, well that was much of the same thing and then we also had small group here last night. After that was over a few of them prayed through the house and it went really well, we didn't have anything crazy go on while praying through the house it just makes me feel better knowing that it's been prayed through. Today my mom, 2 aunts, and grandma came to see me, the kids we so excited to have them here and it was good to see them again. My aunt Barb even bought me some flowers for a house warming gift and I LOVE them, she also bought Lauren some flowers too of course because she's spoiled rotten ;) that's ok though, we still love her. They spent most of the day here and it was nice to just catch up again. Lamar is gone for the night so I'm hoping that since they prayed through the house that I can actually sleep comfortably now, but at least he's just gone for tonight I think I can handle that. Well I don't have much else to say, my posts have been rather boring lately. I guess I need to step it up a bit ;)

So I'm really not feeling like blogging right now, so so tired. I will blog tomorrow. Nighty night.

Happy 100th post.....i'm just a day late ;)

  So I didn't realize that I've been blogging for 100 days straight now.....wow, I didn't think that I'd actually make it. I figured that I would lose interest and just forget it all but honestly it's kind of become somewhat of a habit now. I mean, if you're doing something for 100 days in a row it will definitely become a habit. I do enjoy blogging too so that helps, I just wish that I would have something interesting to blog about everyday. Well anywhooooo, after being home this weekend I'm feeling quite refreshed. It was so good to see everyone again, plus it was great to be back at the Sullivan Vineyard. I always feel so refreshed after church, and of course you should feel refreshed ;) Di spoke yesterday and it was exactly what Lamar and I both needed to hear. She was talking about having faith that God is really going to come through for you and do something for you but then you have a back-up plan just in case He doesn't come through. Well to me, that's not having much faith if you're going to have a back-up plan, which is exactly what Lamar and I had/did, we've had that plan I think basically from day one. I can't really speak for Lamar but I know for me I felt pretty convicted about having another plan. I did go up for prayer yesterday about this situation that we're in and I feel like I have a renewed sense of faith, at this point that's exactly what I need. I'm pretty sure that Lamar and I are going to try to sell the house on our own and see what happens. So I'm asking for lots and lots of prayers in the weeks to come because right now it's pretty stressful around our house and I just want some peace about this whole situation. Thanks in advance for the prayers ;) by the way, I'm really sorry about always talking about the house but right now, but it's all i've got and I'm kind of right in the middle of it right now.

Well we are finally on our way home after being back in Arthur for the weekend. It was so good to be back and catch up with everyone and of course, I'm sad to leave. I never thought I would be sad to leave Arthur but I guess things change ;) I do have to say that I'm looking forward to next weekend already because we are going to have some pretty sweet people come for the weekend, I'm praying this week goes by quickly. Sorry this is such a short post but I hate blogging on my phone so I'll blog more tomorrow, I know you all are looking forward to it;)

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Today has been pretty relaxing, we slept in and went to Lamar's parents, then off to my parents house for lunch and then we brought the kids back to Chad and Carolyn's for a nap. Of course I got a nap in too :)
So we are still trying to figure out what to do with our house because our contract is up with the realtor on Monday. So now we are wondering if we should try and sell it on our own or rent it out right away. I know we can't wait to long to decide, part of me wants to try and sell it on our own because we could lower the price more and maybe we could actually sell it, I just wish it was already sold then at least you all wouldn't have to hear me complain about it ;) I'm trying to not worry about how we will make it financially having both houses but it's hard not too. It really doesn't do any good to worry about it so I need to keep praying that God will cone through for us.

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Spending the weekend in Arthur.

Well we are home for the weekend and I have to say that I'm so excited to catch up with all my peeps. I know we've only been gone for 2 weeks but it feels like It's been way longer. We definitely have a busy weekend ahead, tonight we have the athletic banquet and then hanging with some friends and tomorrow we are just going to make our rounds spending time with family. And Sunday we will be going to church in Sullivan, so yeah we definitely have a busy weekend. I'm not complaining though, I'm just hoping we have time to see everyone, I guess if we don't there's always next time. Well until tomorrow :)

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So I had a pretty good day today, it helped that I was actually able to get some sleep last night so thanks Angie for letting me stay with you last night. Anyway, I came home this morning and then Mandie came to hang out with me for the day, it was good to catch up again. We didn't really do much, just took the kids to Steak & Shake and made a wal-mart run, Mandie ripped her pants so she needed some new ones. Sorry Mandie, I had to tell them because, well it was funny ;) Now I'm just hanging out waiting for Lamar to get home, Yay he's coming home tonight....woohoo!!!!

A very long night :/

  Well last night was the 2nd night that Lamar has been gone and let's just say it was a loooooong night. I finally fell asleep around 1ish and woke up around 2 to some very weird noises. Of course I freaked out and I'm thinking to myself, what am I going to do if someone is in the house? It's not like I can call Lamar he's hours away, he could do anything for me. So basically I did a lot of praying and finally went back to sleep around 5am, yes you read that right 5am. Unfortunately it wasn't a solid sleep, I just dozed in and out until 7:30, needless to say I'm exhausted. The kids didn't have a good night either, Peyton said he had a bad dream and Lauren was coughing most of the night. I called Lamar and told him about it and I said that I was really going to try and stay by myself but after last night I just can't do it. so I'm going to Champaign to stay with Angie tonight and I'll be back tomorrow morning, I know I'm such a chicken for having to go and stay with someone but I can't survive on 3 hrs. of sleep 2 nights in a row. I'm thinking that we need to get some people over here to pray through the house, I think that might help me feel a bit more comfortable too.......well and maybe a huge attack dog outside, ok maybe not ;) I am definitely ready for Lamar to be home so tomorrow night can't come fast enough and then on Friday we are going back to Arthur for the weekend....woohoo!!!!!

Focusing on my blessings

  Well the first night staying by myself in our new house didn't go to bad, I actually slept pretty good but that might have been because I didn't get to sleep until 1am so I was exhausted but at least I was able to sleep. I really thought about going home tonight after Peyton's tball practice but I decided to stay here and be a big girl. I know the 2nd. without Lamar is always worse then the first night but I also know that I have lots of people praying for me and that helps so so much.
   So this morning I was checking twitter and Adam had retweeted this, Deut 28 is an interesting chapter.It lists the blessings for walking with God and the curses going our own way. Meditate on these. Of course I was curious and I decided to read it and wow, I recommend that everyone read that chapter. It was exactly what I needed to hear, I love the way God works He always puts something in front of you just when you need it. Basically it talks about all the blessings that you recieve when you follow God's will and what happens when you don't follow God's will. I know it opened up my eyes so much because yes we are doing what God wants us to do and He has blessed us tremendiously(sp), apparently I just didn't see it until I read this chapter. I know that we haven't been able to sell our house yet and things are a bit tight financially but God has gone above and beyond by blessing us with this wonderful home, Lamar's job transfer, Peyton loving school, and numerous other things. And really I just need to focus on the blessings that we have and not focus so much on our house not selling and our finances, because the blessings definitely outweigh anything else.

Hanging by myself.

  Well I don't really have much to blog about today, I think I need to find a hobby my posts have been kind of blah lately. Lamar left this morning and he'll be gone until thursday night and today wasn't to bad, although the 2nd day he's gone is usually worse then the first one. But that's ok because I'm a big girl and I can handle Lamar being gone for a few days, and yes I'm just going to keep telling myself that. I've always wondered why I hate being by myself, did something happen when I was younger or maybe it's because I'm the youngest of 4 kids and I was never by myself, someone was always there with me? Hmmmm I don't know but I'm thinking that if Lamar is going to be traveling a lot then I need to pray this out of me. Well that's all I have for now so later taters.

 Today we went to the Bloomington Vineyard for church and I wasn't sure what to expect. Lamar had told me they have about 50 people going there but I think there was only about 30 today so it definitely isn't something that I'm used too. It really wasn't bad at all but it definitely wasn't Sullivan, it's so weird to walk into a church and be the "new people" I'm sure they'll get to know us pretty quick though ;) We went over to Steve and Melissa L's for church/small group and I didn't want to go at first, I kind of just wanted to stay home in my sweats and veg out but I'm glad that we did go. We just listened to a sermon online and then prayed for each other so it was pretty good.
  So I'm not looking forward to this week at all so if you guys think about it please say lots of extra prayers for me. Lamar is leaving tomorrow morning and won't be back until late Thursday night. I don't like staying home by myself at all and it makes it worse because we're in a new town and I don't know anyone so it's going to be rough. I would really like to go home for a couple of days but I'm going to try and be a big girl and stay here, I can't make any promises though. So say lots and lots of prayers for me, thanks :)

  I'm just going to warn you now, this is just going to be me venting and if you don't want to hear then stop reading now ;) So as you all know we have not sold our house yet and I was sure that we would sell it before we moved here well that didn't happen. Then my mom and dad were talking about possibly buying the house because my mom would love to move to town, so Lamar called my dad today to talk to him about it and basically telling him we would like to know a little more by next weekend. They said that they probably won't do anything right now :*( Seriously, I don't understand why it hasn't sold yet, I mean this is something that God has asked us to do so what's the hold up. I just don't get it. Things are tight financially right now and yet we have 2 mortgages, do we have to go into some serious debt before anything happens? I don't know, I'm just so frustrated right now and I'm so tired of getting my hopes up every time I hear a little something about someone possibly wanting to buy the house and then nothing ever happens with it. Sorry for the venting session but hey it's just where I'm at right now :(

The First Weekend in Morton

  Well this is our first weekend living in Morton and well......so far it hasn't been that exciting ;) We took the kids to Mcdonald's for dinner and to play in the playplace, they needed to run off some serious energy, then we went grocery shopping.....I know, I know we are such an exciting family. Lisa is bringing the kids by tomorrow so that will be fun and I know my kids will be glad to see them too. Well I don't really have much else to say so I guess that's it for now. Sorry for the boring post.