Here I am again, I'm back at this same place that I was a few months ago. Lamar left this morning and won't be back until Wednesday so here I am terrified to stay by myself. So what did I do, I had to let go of my pride and ask Tina to come and stay with me tonight. It's actually kind of embarrassing that I'm 31 and I have to ask someone to come and spend the night at my house. I hate this feeling and I just want to figure out and get to the root of the issue of why I am terrified to stay by myself. I'm totally fine during the day, I don't mind being by myself during the day at all. It's when it get dark and late at night that's when I get freaked out and I don't know why. Lamar and I were praying about it last night and we've figured out that it's not just fear anymore it's moved on to terror. I remember the first night that he was gone after we moved, I have no idea what time it was, late I'm sure, but I remember sitting on the couch sobbing and just shaking uncontrollably(sp) I never felt like that when we lived in Arthur, yeah I was a little scared but it was never this bad, so I guess I'm wondering what changed? Maybe it's because I'm still getting used to living here, I don't know but I really want to figure out how to fix it and deal with it. I know it makes it harder for Lamar to leave when I'm feeling like this. So I guess we'll continue praying and hopefully we'll get to the root of the issue soon, I don't like feeling like this so I'm definitely ready to deal with it and move on.