Ok I'm just going to warn you right now that my mind is going about 100 miles an hour and I have so many things that I want to say, so I might be all over the place with this post but just bear with me :) So we went back to Arthur this weekend and I'm always excited to go back an visit but the last couple of times we've been there I feel more and more like an outsider. Now it's nothing that anyone did or anything like that but it's just how I feel and I was talking to someone about it this weekend and I've come to the conclusion that maybe it's just God's way of helping me cope with the move. We've been here almost 3 months now and I have to say that I really enjoy it here, I love love love the convience(sp) of everything, it's so nice because I don't have to plan an entire day or at least morning just to go get groceries. The only thing that I miss is not having met very many new people, I miss the friendships. I miss being able to call people up and see if they want to meet for dinner or watch a movie or whatever, and yes I know that those friendships will happen but right now it's the only thing I miss. And of course I miss my wonderful friends back in Arthur too, it would be so perfect if they could just move here....hint hint ;) I realized this morning that this move is probably the best thing that we could have done. I was going back through my life and I realized that I was always in someone's shadow, not that that's a bad thing, but being in someone's shadow never gives you the chance to step out on your own. I feel like with this move that I don't have a choice but to step out on my own, and honestly I'm kind of excited about it. Last week Ben talked to Lamar and him and Tina want to meet with us just to see what our role in the church will be, like where we feel what God is calling us to do. And as I was out running one morning I started praying and asking God what my role is and I barely got the sentence out and He puts this "role" in my mind and I actually started laughing a little. I told God that I think He meant that for someone else, I was then reminded of Peyton who when you tell him something and it's the answer he doesn't want to hear he keeps asking why/what/when, over and over again(let me tell you, that annoys me so much) But God said you're doing the same thing that Peyton does, why can't you just take what I say or tell you and not ask questions? So going back to being in someone's shadow, this is going to give me the chance to step out on my own and yes I'm excited but I'm also extremely nervous. I know that I will make mistakes but how else am I going to learn but I also know that I'm going to have people there encouraging me along the way. Yesterday we went to church in Sullivan and Di was preaching and she had a great sermon and it was so what I needed to hear. She was basically talking about taking that big leap off that cliff and taking a chance, so here I am, ready to take that leap. I don't want to be in someone's shadow anymore, I want to step out and be my own person. I want to be Tanya(gosh that's really cheesy) but I'm sure you all know what I mean. So today as I sit here, crying while I'm writing this, I can honestly say that I'm happy that I'm here, I didn't think I would ever say that. I thought I would be pretty angry at God for asking us to move but 3 months later, I'm so glad I'm here. I'm so excited to see where He's going to take us and I'm ready to step out and take that giant leap.