Jan.31

 Well today is the last day of January and I have blogged every day this month.....WOOHOO!!!!!! I guess that means I only have 334 days of blogging every single day. Holy cow, how am I going to find something to talk about every day for the rest of the year, 1 month was hard enough. Oh well, i'm sure I'll come up with something because I said I was going to do it and I'm not about to give up. This has actually been great discipline for me, I realized by doing this that if I say I'm going to do something then I need to stick with it and not flake out on it. Anyway, I guess I really don't have much else to say, which is odd, so hopefully tomorrow I'll have something a bit more exciting to say.

Peyton

  So tonight I've decided to blog about Peyton, especially since I blogged about Lauren the other day, I just don't want Peyton to feel left out ;) Peyton is my tender-hearted little man, he's always had such a sensitive, sweet spirit and I just love that about him. He reminds me so much of Lamar it's crazy, although I guess that's a good thing since Lauren is just like me, he's pretty meticulous about things and he likes things done a certain way. I did figure out a few years ago that he likes a routine and he likes to know what he's doing the next day and where he's going and if he's going to school he likes to know what's for lunch the next day,  I just wish I would have known this a long time ago because it might have made things a bit easier. It's so crazy because he looks and acts just like my brother Wendall did, I have been told hundreds of times that he looks exactly like Wendall did at that age and I have to say that it's pretty cool. I can't wait until he's old enough so I can tell him about Wendall, he's heard us talk about him before and he's made the connection that he was named after Wendall but that's about it, I'm pretty sure he's going to have to be just a bit older to understand what happened. Peyton is my cuddly little guy and he's always been that way, he still loves to come and sit on my lap and just cuddle with me and I'm so glad that he loves to do that because  I know it won't be long before he's too big to do that so right now I'll take it any chance I get. I just love watching him grow into this wonderful little man.

My 2 Favorite Peeps.

Have any of you ever had a friend or friends that you could hang out with all the time and you would never get tired of them? Well last night I realized how much a certain couple means to me. We hang out with Eric and Amy quite a bit, usually on Sunday nights we'll get together and play cards and Amy and I usually go for breakfast together once a week. Well Eric hasn't been feeling well this week and they had to take him to the ER in Springfield last night to have them check out his heart. Amy had sent me a text to tell me that they were taking him in and my heart just stopped for a bit and I almost had a freak out moment but I composed myself, I just wanted to jump in the car and drive to Springfield to be with Amy but unfortunately I was in Champaign and we had my mom and dad with us. So on the way home I just kept praying for them and I realized how much these 2 people mean to me, we've become so close and I just love them to pieces. I was talking to Eric's mom at work today and I was asking her how he was doing this morning because I hadn't heard anything yet, well as she was talking I started crying and I had to walk away. I mean I know that he's had to deal with this all his life but now that we're such good friends and I know how hard it is on Amy, it just broke my heart thinking about what she was going through last night. I know that we will never find another Eric and Amy to hang out with when we move and honestly I don't want to, these 2 people are some of my favorites and they have no idea how much I will miss them when we move. And yes, Eric and I "fight" a lot but I know that he loves me and that he's going to miss me, even if he would never admit it.

Rascal Spot Unicorn

    I'm sure you are wondering about the name of this post, well Lamar didn't give me topics to talk about this time. This is actually the name of Lauren's pillow pet. So I've decided to blog about Miss Lauren today, she is one of those kids that you just look at her and smile. Now that i've finally figured out her personality type it's a bit easier to "deal" with her. Now don't get me wrong, she's not a bad kid at all actually she's a pretty good kid, she's just a free spirit. It's so funny because a couple of months ago we were at my parents house for dinner and Lauren could not hold still, she was wiggling around like crazy just chatting away, basically doing everything but eating. Anyway, I was kind of getting on her case because she was just goofing off and my parents started laughing and they told me that I used to act the exact same way. Well, at least now we know what we have to look forward too, or something like that. Lauren is your typical free spirit, she never walks anywhere she runs, prances, or dances wherever she goes, she's constantly singing and making up songs, let's just say that it's never quiet when she's around. This morning I was getting ready and I told Lauren to get dressed well, Lamar comes in the bathroom and said that she's swinging her shirt around swatting at invisible flies. I started laughing and I said why do you think I tell her to get dressed about 20 min. before I'm actually ready to leave, because this is what she does, she just gets distracted and "forgets" what she's supposed to be doing. Now don't get me wrong  I do love this little girl to pieces and I have to say that when she starts school I'm going to miss my daily entertainment.

The Real Housewives of Arthur

  Tonight I was telling Lamar that I am going to breakfast with a bunch of ladies tomorrow morning and he asked me if we were now the Real Housewives of Arthur. Of course I thought that was pretty funny because well, we kind of are like that. We're just not as shallow and self-involved as they are and I'm pretty sure that not one of these Arthur ladies thinks it's ok to spend $1000 on a pair of shoes. As I sit here I have to think about how the Real Housewives are portrayed, I mean they all look like they have the most glamourous life ever, they have a disposable income, can go on these amazing trips....etc. But if you really think about it, how can they be happy. Yeah it would be nice to just be able to do whatever you wanted and not have to worry about how you're going to pay for it but honestly these ladies are so miserable and are constantly trying to get the next best thing, whether it's a car, shoes, a new house or even a new face(a lot of them have gotten plastic surgery). It makes me sad to think about all the young girls that watch this show and think that they want to live just like them. Money can't buy you everything but unfortunately in today's world it's all about money but what about Jesus. Where's He's at in all this? Think about what the world would be like if it was more Jesus centered and not money centered, I promise you the world would be a much better place.   

  Yesterday I went to bible study and a friend of mine told me that she needed to talk to me about something. Of course I'm immediately thinking the worst, like what did I do, did I say something that I shouldn't have, I was about to drive myself crazy. Well she was able to come over last night and she was actually telling me about some dreams that she had been having about our friendship. Basically what she was getting from the dream is that I was trying to push her away and I didn't really want to have anything to do with her. Well as we went on talking I realized that I was pushing her away, it's not like I was doing it on purpose but I know that the closer we get to moving the harder it's going to be, so in my subconcious(sp) mind I started pushing her away so maybe it wouldn't be so hard when we actually do move. I told her that I don't want to push anyone away because all my friends mean the world to me but sometimes that's just how I cope with things, when I know that it's going to be hard I try to take myself out of the equation. I told her that I should be loving every single minute I spend with my friends and not think about the fact that we're leaving in 9 weeks. So I have decided that whenever I spend time with my friends from now until we move, I will cherish all the time we spend together and I will be taking lots of pictures(don't say I didn't warn you). Yes I know I sound like we're moving across the country rather then 2 hrs. away. I know this time that I have left here in good ol' Arthur is going to go by way to fast so I'm going to try really hard to just love every minute of it.

Breakthrough!!!!!

  Today I think I had my first major breakthrough with something that I've been dealing with for the last year or so. I've been incredibly angry about so many things that have gone on and I just didn't know how to deal with it. But as I was doing my healing journey homework this afternoon God showed me some of the things that I'm dealing with has to do with me not being able to let go of what happened with my family. It totally hit me like a ton of bricks when I read this paragraph, "The hurts and wounds we experienced, if left unprocessed, take on a life of their own and can actually affect how the brain secretes its hormones. This can cause depression, anxiety, insomnia, paranoia, headaches, arthritis, and other physical ailments." When I read this I was thinking that I have at least 4 of those symptons, now I'm not a hypocondrac(sp) but if you've read some of my previous posts then you know that I've been struggling with anxiety a lot.  I guess I didn't realized that if you don't deal with things then you can actually have physicaly ailments and it can just totally ruin you life and you'll can be a life filled with bitterness and anger. And I just want to say that I don't want to be filled with all this bitterness and anger, I want to be happy and filled with complete joy and be happy with everything that God has blessed me with. And believe me, He's blessed me a lot and I want to soak it all up and be happy again.