Do you ever just want to put all your feelings out there and just say exactly how you feel? I know I do, I just want to put it out there more then I'd care to admit, but that's the reason for having a blog so you can just put it out there and hopefully no one will judge you. And if they do judge you then stop reading my blog! So this morning as I was running, which I love because it gives me lots of time to think, I realized that I'm pretty angry at God. Yes, I said it I'm angry at God. I'm angry because He put this church plant on Lamar's heart which in turn is why we're here. I'm angry because we DID move away and now I'm not around my friends and family. I'm angry because I feel like my life is a bit disrupted right now. I'm angry because I feel completely alone and no one understands what I'm going through. I'm angry because I'm super emotional. I'm angry because, and yes I said this earlier, but I'm not 5 minutes away from my friends, some of the best friends that I've ever had. I'm angry because I can't have breakfast with Amy every week and just vent and get all our feelings out. I'm angry because we can't just have GP's with Eric, Amy, Troy, and Angie at the spur of the moment. I'm angry because I can't coach volleyball with Sheryl this year, seriously we had so much fun together and we had the best vball girls around. I'm angry because I can't call my family and see if they want to meet for dinner in 1 hour. Yes I know that's a lot of reasons why I'm angry and yes, I'm working on them so don't worry :) But I also have lots of things to be thankful for and things that I love about being here. I love the fact that Lamar works at home now, I didn't think I would like it but I LOVE it. I love the convience of everything. I do know that I'm going to be meeting new people and making new friends and I love that, even though they will never replace the friends back home. I love the even though we have moved it's only 2 hrs. away from home so it makes it so easy to go home for the weekend. I love that Champaign is only1 hour away so it makes it easy to meet up with my friends....hint hint friends ;) I love our house and all the room we have, yes that means more cleaning but that also means when we do have friends come and visit they actually have a place to stay.  I also love the fact that by stepping out and doing what God has asked us to do, that we will be doing things that we most likely wouldn't have done if we hadn't moved. I feel like God has given me the confidence to step out and step up to do things in the church that I wouldn't have done before. I know that this journey is far from over and I'm sure that I'm going to have more moments like this but I also know that God understands our feelings and why we feel this way sometimes, as long as we don't stay angry and stay in that bad place for long, it's ok. I know God has good things in store for us and I can't wait to see what they are.