Happy Mother's Day

  First of all, I just want to say Happy Mother's Day to all the mom's out there. I have to say being a mom is the hardest job ever but it's also so very rewarding. So far today has been a pretty good day, we went to church in Champaign and then went to lunch with my family, which I'm still full from. And Lamar also gave me another mom's gift, he gave me one of the necklaces from Stella & Dot that I've been wanting for forever earlier this week, and then today he gave me Steven Tyler's new book. I know it's kind of a weird combo but I've always been intrigued by him and I can't wait to read the book. Then I got to take a nap and Lamar just left with the kiddos for a while so I can just have some time to myself, so yes, it's been a good day.
  So on the way to church this morning I was just doing some thinking about where my life is and my relationship with Jesus. And I have to say that I'm really disappointed in my relationship with Him, before we moved I felt that I had a great relationship and there were moments when I really felt God speaking to me but since we've moved, for whatever reason I've been slacking in that area. Maybe it's because I'm secretly angry that He asked us to move, or maybe not ;) I don't know why but I would think that I would use this time to draw closer to Him and not further from Him. There was a point when I did feel really close but I don't know, I think it's just because I've slacked off. Yes I do my devotions every night but sometimes my mind wanders and by the time I'm done reading then I have no idea what I just read. Honestly, I'm slightly embarrassed by that, although I know that I'm not the only one who has ever had this issue. I kind of laughed to myself this morning as I was thinking about my devotions and how sometimes I don't remember what I read beause Angie always says that everything in life relates to Friends, well I happened to think of that one episode where they all went to the beach and Ross and Rachel decided to get back together. Well she writes him this letter that I think was 16 pages long, front and back and Ross was supposed to read it because it was important to Rachel and then they would talk about it and decide if they really should get back together. Well Ross fell asleep and didn't finish it but he told Rachel that he did, needless to say she found out later that he didn't read it and it just didn't end well. Anyway, it hit me that the Bible is God's letter to us and it's very important to Him that we read it, and not just read it but KNOW what it says and understand it. So Angie I guess you're right again, almost everything relates to Friends ;) I know that if I had a letter or a book or whatever that I really wanted someone to read and they just kind of skimmed over it or just didn't read but said they did, that I would be really hurt when I found out what happened. I don't really know if this hurts God but I'm sure He doesn't appreciate it. So my goal starting tomorrow is to really dig deeper and really press into to the father, I want to know Him not even like I used too, I want to know Him so much more personally then I ever did before. I want to be able to hear from Him and know that it's from God and not have to question it and I desire to have that intimate relationship with Him. This is one area in my life that I really need to work on right now and especially with us doing a church plant, I really want God to be able to use me in areas that I would have never thought that I could be used and I can't do that if I don't have that relationship. So as I start my journey tomorrow, I'm asking for a few extra prayers because we all know that satan doesn't like to hear this so he's going to try to discourage me. But I'm going to keep pressing in, I don't like this roller coaster where I feel like I have a good relationship and then something happens and bam, I'm back to square one. I want to keep going and see where God is going to take me, I already know that He wanted to bring me to Morton, obviously, but I want to know what's next and I want to see where He wants me here in Morton. I'll keep you posted on this journey :)