Thursday, May 5, 2011
Feeling like somewhat of a failure.
Well apparently I'm a big wimp and I wasn't able to stay by myself last night, luckily my amazing sister Angie left Champaign at 8:30 to come and stay with me, now that's a good sister. And yes, Champaign is only about 1hr. away so it's not to bad of a drive but still she save me :) Ok maybe she didn't save me but she helped me to be able to sleep last night. I do somewhat feel like a failure because I'm 31 years old and have 2 kids and yet, I still can't stay by myself, not even for one night. I feel like I should be able to do this and it's frustrating because I'm fine during the day but the minute it gets dark I get freaked out. I just really want to figure out why I can't or don't like to stay by myself, I just want to get to the root of this issue. I know it would be a lot easier for Lamar to leave too if we got this thing figured out, I'm just thankful that I have such an understanding husband who lets me sob all over him the night before he leaves, yes I'm that girl. Anyway, I'm thinking lots more prayer over this issue is going to be in my near future. I'll keep you posted, and yes, I know you all are on the edge of your seat with excitement ;)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
You're not a failure. We all have different crap; things that we're ashamed of, things we cannot seem to overcome although others don't struggle with it. It sucks because we think, since THEY don't struggle with it, something must be wrong with me. The truth is, it's a process. Our struggles are unique to US, so we have to pray, cry out to God and #1 We have to WANT it to change. I think sometimes we hold onto crap, destructive behavior, because it's what we know. Other times we want it to go but don't want to go through the work involved to change it. (ME!!:() Other times we need Christian counseling, therapy. I've found that when there's something I really struggle with that I can't seem to get victory over on my own, or with prayer, it really helps to talk to someone and work through it that way. You have to find what works for you. I love you and want you to get victory in this area so anything I can do to help other than prayer let me know! You need to text me when to pray cuz I just caught up on your blog today so I didn't know!! I'm sorry girl. I love you!
ReplyDelete